There are many sides to a story, especially one that involves adoption. The experience of the birth parents; the experience of the adoptive parents; and the experience of the adoptee. Each is important, and they matter in the collective adoption story of a child.

An open adoption is one in which the biological parents of the child have the opportunity to build a relationship with the child and adoptive family. This typically includes the adoptive family sharing photos and updates, phone calls or video calls between the child and biological parent or parents, and a certain number of visits per year. An open adoption also allows adoptive parents and/or the agency to follow up with the biological parents about medical, genetic, and family history throughout the child’s life.

It is easy for an agency that facilitates open adoptions to say that an open adoption is significant in helping adoptees tell the story of their family. But why is it so important?

Clarity

Open adoption gives adoptees the opportunity to fill in some of the blanks in their story, which can alleviate some of the pain that accompanies the uncertainty of not knowing from where they originate. Research shows that even adoptees brought into their adoptive family as an infant have the potential to struggle with their mental health, and adoptees make up a large percentage of people seeking mental health services in the United States ¹. There is typically a great deal of mystery surrounding an adoptee’s origin story, especially if it is a closed adoption with no information about the birth parents. Additionally, it can be therapeutic for adoptees to have the ability to fill in parts of their history and talk openly with both their adoptive family and/or biological family.

Relationship

The decision to place a child in adoption is indescribably difficult. It is not a decision that anyone ever thinks they will have to make, yet sometimes it is the best decision for a person or a couple, and their child. An open adoption allows for birth parents to have a relationship with their child even after being placed with an adoptive family, creating the opportunity to watch the child grow and play a role in their life as they do. This relationship also lets the child understand more about their biological history and ask questions that will help them start to process through emotions they may not be able to verbalize yet. The relationship has the potential to be therapeutic for both the biological family and the adoptee, as there is a great deal of grief that comes with the process. Open adoption can help perpetuate healing.

History

In a closed adoption, there is often limited or unknown information about the adoptee’s health, social, emotional, and genetic history, leaving adoptive families and adoptees with questions around these topics. An open adoption allows for the potential of more holistic care of the adoptee, as biological family history can be helpful when making decisions or seeking medical or mental health treatment. History provides clarity.

Compassion

Open adoption gives adoptive families, adoptees, and birth families the opportunity to get to know one another, often dispelling misconceptions that are internalized through pop culture and media. Not only is it important for the adoptee to get to know their birth parent(s), the relationship between the adoptive parent(s) and the biological family has the ability to shape the child’s perception of their own life story. This relationship can foster both compassion and perspective for everyone involved ².

1. Merritt, M. (2022). Rediscovering latent trauma: An adopted adult’s perspective. Child Abuse & Neglect, 130, 105445. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2021.105445 
2. Hays, A. H., Horstman, H. K., Colaner, C. W., & Nelson, L. R. (2016). “she chose us to be your parents.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33(7), 917–937. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407515611494