Yesterday I found myself explaining Birth Mother’s Day to the newest member of the Adoption Advocates birth parent family. I started by informing her that this Saturday is Birth Mother’s Day. I was met with a blank stare. She seemed confused by the concept and as I began to explain it, I realized that my understanding of Birth Mother’s Day is a little muddled as well. I said to her, “Birth mothers are often not recognized on Mother’s Day as many people in their lives may not know that they’ve placed a child for adoption. Birth Mother’s Day devotes a day to honoring and recognizing the women who gave life to adopted people. It can be especially important for birth mothers that are not currently parenting as they do not typically get to celebrate Mother’s Day in a traditional way.”

I was relieved by how quickly I was able to come up with a response that worked but after some contemplation, I realized the meaning of Birth Mother’s Day is in the eye of the beholder. Some Google magic taught me that for some, Birth Mother’s Day is a special day for an adoptee to remember how loved they are and to honor the woman who gave him or her life. For others it is a day for birth mothers to reflect on the decision that was made- a reminder of her sacrifice and that she is a loving mother who has acted in the best interest of her child(ren). Notwithstanding, some birth mother’s view Birth Mother’s Day as demeaning and do not feel they need to be set apart from the rest of mothers on Mother’s Day.

While the day before Mother’s Day may not mean anything to most of the population, if you or someone you know is a member of the adoption triad, I encourage you to discover what it means to you.