With the recent overturning of Roe vs. Wade, many politicians have been suggesting adoption as an easy solution for unplanned pregnancies. But those familiar with the realities of adoption will tell you that the decision to place your baby is a difficult, sometimes heartbreaking, one.
If you’ve recently found yourself unexpectedly pregnant, you may be thinking that adoption could be a good choice for you and your baby’s future. You might be hesitant to pick up the phone or reach out to an adoption agency though, because you aren’t sure you’re ready to commit to such a big decision.
You’re not alone.
Very few — almost none, in fact — of the women who end up placing their babies through Adoption Advocates feel completely sure of their decision until it is time to sign the relinquishment papers. And that is absolutely ok.
At our adoption agency, our goal with expectant parent clients is to educate you on what open adoption is really like. In addition to how the process works and the legal considerations, we want you to fully understand the emotional impact and potential long-term effects, including grief and trauma. It’s the reason counseling is an important part of our process.
Keep reading to learn more about your options if you aren’t sure about adoption yet, and learn when you’ll need to make a decision.
I am currently pregnant
The earliest you can sign the adoption papers is 48 hours after delivery. Until then, you are only making an adoption plan. You’ll continue meeting with your adoption specialist to explore parenting vs placing, including creating a parenting plan in addition to an adoption plan. Seeing both options and having a plan for either situation can help you see things more clearly and help take some of the pressure off of making a decision.
I’ve just delivered my baby and I’m still in the hospital
Even if you’ve been planning an adoption throughout your pregnancy, things can change once you’ve delivered your baby. You might experience feelings of doubt and confusion, and medication and hormones can make it even harder to think clearly. If you are feeling unsure, we encourage you to take extra time before making a decision.
In many cases, both you and the baby will be discharged after about 48 hours. If you aren’t ready to make a decision, you can take the baby home with you and care for it while you continue exploring your options. You will need to be prepared to leave with an infant by having things like a car seat and diapers ready.
If you don’t feel able to take your baby home, Adoption Advocates can offer interim care, also known as cradle care. This is a temporary situation where a family provides care for your child for a short period of time. This type of care is a private arrangement provided through the agency and does not involve Child Protective Services. You will remain the legal parent during this temporary placement.
I am already caring for my baby or young child
You will continue to care for the child in your home as you explore adoption with your adoption specialist. Together, you’ll be able to discuss your unique situation and explore what other options may be available.
You are the only one who can make this decision, but sometimes talking about your situation can help. Our adoption specialists are here to listen and provide support — without judgement or pressure. We want what’s best for you and your baby, and we’ll respect your decision whether or not you choose adoption.
